“Laugh, clown, laugh. This is what I tell myself whenever I dress up like Bozo.” Jack Handy

Hello readers! I'm back by popular demand. (okay....... one person missed me). But I like that one person so I'm writing this blog just for her.

I've been up on my foot for a couple weeks now. My foot is doing OK, although it is going to take some time and I don't think it will ever be back to "normal". Whatever that is. It's been so long I don't remember! It is still swollen. Apparently, it can take up to a year for the swelling to go down. And my toe is still stiff. So I am supposed to be manipulating it around a few times a day.

But the doctor said I could try wearing regular shoes. (Instead of my lovely "post-op" shoe) Preferably shoes with a stiffer, supportive sole.

Herein lies my problem. None of my shoes fit on my swollen foot. It is at least one to two sizes bigger than my other foot! The last shoes I was told to buy when I broke my foot were Danskos. Because of the way Danskos are made, your foot doesn't bend---it rolls. So I shelled out $130 of Alan's hard earned buck-a-roos for a pair of clunky Danskos. Yes, they helped me walk better, but I felt like Bigfoot wearing them.

In fact, my shoes were sitting by the front door one day when Hannah came home from school and said:

"Oh, is Dad home?"

"No, why?"

"I just saw his shoes by the front door."

WAAAAH!

That's how big and masculine looking the shoes are. To add insult to injury, the very next week I was visiting teaching and took my shoes off by the front door, as is customary here in the tundra. As I was visiting with the mother, her little toddler walked by hefting one of my shoes and saying, "Da-da. Da-da." The mom said, "Oh, she thinks those are her Dad's shoes."

WAAAAH!

After digging around in my closet, I did come up with a pair of brown leather Born clog style shoes that I have managed to squish my left foot into. They are fine for now. That just leaves me with the problem of what to wear with a dress on Sunday and to YW New Beginnings this Wednesday. I already feel like I am Alice (the maid from the Brady Bunch) standing next to Florence Henderson, the mom, A.K.A. Sister Vassar. So I am determined to find a church type shoe to wear to this event.

But where can I find a store that will sell me one size 11 shoe and one size 9 shoe? Even Salvation Army won't do that! It soon becomes obvious that I am going to have to go with the bigger size and clump around on a shoe that is too big on my good foot.

And, I refuse to spend another $100 or more of Alan's hard earned moo-lah on shoes that don't really fit right and that might be too big, if and when the swelling goes down.

After looking at several stores, I did manage to find a pair of black, kind of wide-toed, sturdy, flat heeled leather shoes with a strap on sale for $14.99 that I could get my left foot into. They are kind of cute but not the most feminine. The size 11 fit the bad foot and the size 9 fit the good foot. I didn't really want to buy both sizes, so I compromised on a size 10. They are a little tight on the left and too big on the right, so I stuffed the toe with cotton balls, which helps a little.

So.........I guess I will wear them with my skirt to New Beginnings. Our speaker is a cute little thing who wears at least 4 to 5 inch heels and I know I'm going to feel like Bozo standing next to her. Oh well, I'll just have to remind myself to:

"Laugh, clown, laugh!"