I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience. Patrick Henry

Ok, since I can't go anywhere (even up the stairs), except back and forth with my walker from my sturdy arm chair to the computer chair to the bathroom, I decided now would be the perfect time to start a BLOG and my foot surgery would be the perfect subject to blog about. (I heard that groan Forrest!)

So..........where to start? Let's start at the very beginning.......a very good place to start. (Yeah, me and Julie Andrews are tight like that. We have a lot in common, not the least thing being that we are both practically perfect in every way!) CHEEKY!

It was a bright and sunny day 4 years ago at Itasca State Park in central (I think) Minnesota. I was at a church young women camp where my friend, Coralea, and I were chaperones. We were on a lovely (NOT) 5 mile hike with all the 2nd year campers. The only problem was, everyone else on the hike had disappeared into the dense woods except for us four: Me, Coralea, my daughter Kristin, and a sweet young woman from Grand Forks. We were following a little xeroxed map of woodsy trails that some mathematically challenged young women had figured out added up to five miles. It soon became apparent that we were lost. Like really lost. Not a human soul in sight. Just Mother Earth, Father Sky and a zillion pesky TICKS! (This was the infamous hike from which my original rap song, "Rick, the Tick" was born. But......I digress.) What could we do but pray and keep walking? I was seriously scared that we would never see civilization again. Anyway, about halfway through our journey in the haunted forest, I was seized by a sharp stabbing pain on the top of my foot.

Which makes me wonder.........how come there isn't a name for the top of the foot? We have the heel, the ankle, the ball, the toes, but there is not a word for the top of the foot, thus making me type 4 words--top-of-the-foot- when one good word could suffice, if there was one. So I am now announcing that I am having a contest for all the readers of my blog, to come up with a good name for the top- of- the- foot. The winner of the contest will receive an original copy of my hit rap song, "Rick, the Tick."

Anyway, that day 4 years ago, when a sharp stabbing pain seized my foot, was what ultimately led to my recent foot surgery, which ultimately led to me being confined to the basement with Maggie (by the way, we now smell the same since so far I have only been able to take sponge baths) which ultimately led me to the brink of insanity due to sheer boredom, which ultimately led me to write this blog.

In the next installment, you will accompany me on my journey of discovery as I seek answers for the sharp stabbing pain on the top-of-my-foot. Betcha cant' wait!

Oh, in case you were wondering, we finally found our way to the road after about 4 HOURS in pergatory. The sad part was, no one even knew we were missing! After I got home, I perused my little xeroxed map and added up all the miles and figured out that our 5 mile hike was really 9.2 MILES! And what happened to everyone else that was supposed to be on the hike with us? They had turned around and gone back way back there at the beginning. GRRRRRRR! There's gotta be a special place in heaven for adult women who go to girls camp. Even winning the revered and sacred "Most Spirited Camper" urn of ashes two years later was little consolation.

Don't forget to enter the contest all you creative word girls!